Watching and Reviewing the Entire Criterion Collection

February 4, 2010

Watching and Reviewing the Entire Criterion Collection:

I used to have a well-paying job. I used to have a good credit rating. I’ve always had a penchant indulging my obsessions. One such obsession was Criterion Collection DVD’s and I fed it compulsively when I could. My first Criterion purchase was almost exactly seven years ago and since then I have amassed a library of about 160 of the 501 spine numbers released to date.

Now that things are tight and I don’t have the means for whimsical indulgences, I must entertain myself in an economic manner. What better way than to work my way through the titles I already own? I’ve already made the investment, so I may as well wring all the value I can out of it.

Some years ago I started keeping a journal of the movies I’ve watched. I have about forty-five entries on file so far. That doesn’t include the dozen or so I lost when my hard drive crashed in spectacular fashion after going nearly eight months without backing it up. (That was one hell of a lesson learned the hard way! Take it from me, don’t put off backing up your files another day. Time Machine has been a godsend ever since that catastrophe.)

I’ve been making the most of my cheap entertainment in the past year. Over the holidays and through January I watched some twenty movies. To add to the fun, I’ve been reading reviews to enhance my understanding and appreciation of them. I found Roger Ebert’s “Great Movies” reviews and read through all of the movies I’ve already seen. It certainly helped pass the time on the trains, and I gained some more insight into those films during the ride.

I chanced upon Ebert’s article “The man who is scaling Mt. Criterion film by film” about a gentleman named Matthew Dessem and his blog “The Criterion Contraption” with the audacious goal of watching and writing about every film in the collection, in order. Since I’ve already been doing something of the sort, I thought to myself, Hey, what a great idea. I’m gonna steal it! Minus the “in order” part. So, thanks, Matthew, for the wonderful idea.

I am doing this only for personal pleasure, as an outlet for a pent up desire to write something. I’m not going to set any hard and fast rules for myself – if I don’t set high expectations, then I have a greater chance of achieving them. I am not competing with Mr. Dessem in any way. I am just taking a good idea and doing something similar. As I said, I am doing this only for me. If others get some enjoyment from it too, that’s great.

I am not a film critic. I am not an aspiring filmmaker, screenwriter, cinematopgrapher, director, or anything of the like. I hesitate to call myself a cinephile, even, but I suppose that is only because I have an overly narrow impression of the word that equates to “cinematic snobbishness.” The handy New Oxford American Dictionary pre-packaged on my computer has a very concise and simple definition of the word: “a person who is fond of motion pictures.” Of that definition, I suppose I do fit the bill. I am fond of motion pictures and that fondness has only grown ever since I stumbled on the Criterion Collection. My writings will be my personal view of the movie du juor. I will simply ramble on about how I felt about it, what I liked and didn’t like, what I expected and what I got, what I learned from it and about it, etc. I’m certain to digress quite a bit, maybe telling about the adventure I had in getting a certain DVD or how I first saw a movie on a rainy day and now associate that movie with rainy days. I’ll just go whichever way the wind blows.

It may interest some people, or it may bore the hell out of them. That’s assuming, of course, anyone decides to even read what I have written. My expectations are not great. All I can hope is that I do enjoy this little endeavor, and that maybe some others will too. If that is the case, I do look forward to hearing what others have to say, possibly learning a few more things along the way. I certainly invite friendly comments, additional anecdotes, constructive criticism, and lively discussion.

I am not going to set the goal of reviewing all of the films in the Criterion Collection. That, I’m sure, seems like a cop out right from the very beginning. Mainly, I believe if I don’t set a goal then I have a better chance of achieving it. This endeavor is supposed to be fun for me and I’m afraid that if I make it a goal there may come a point in time where it no longer feels like something fun. I want it to be something I want to do and not something I have to do. Another reason is I’m not going to delude myself by thinking I can even accomplish watching them all. I’ve calculated that Criterion has averaged about one new DVD spine number per week. So, if I were to average two per week, it would take ten years to catch up with them. Two movies per week is an ambitious goal. Yeah, I said I watched twenty movies in six weeks, but that was just watching them and plopping down some stream-of-consciousness drivel onto the page afterwards. If I’m going to do this, I want to take it to a somewhat higher plane. I would like to take in the special features and include them in my thoughts. I would also like for the writing to be more presentable, requiring more thought and editing. There will be more time involved.

Even so, if I did manage to continue at that pace I would work through everything I already have in the next eight months. After that, I would have to come up with the means to acquire the movies at a rate outpacing Criterion’s production. That’s really where I would come up on the short end of the deal, considering how I would prefer to own the movie if possible. So, basically, I’m just going to do what I can when I can and see where it goes. Really, I need to worry about watching first movie and not about the 750^th or 1,000^th. Talk about putting the cart before the horse!

Also, life just has a way of getting in the way of things. Setting out on a task that could conceivably last as long as a decade is quite the commitment. I have the time to start it now, but that passion may fade over time as other commitments arise. Who knows what life-consuming activities and responsibilities I may have in the future. I’ve looked at two other people who have started similar projects and see that they have tapered off over time. I don’t wish to sound defeatist right at the onset, but am only trying to be realistic in my outlook. So, I will just begin on the journey and see where it takes me. After all, it’s the journey that should be fun.

I’m not going to watch the movies in any particular order, but rather as the mood strikes. Really, I don’t know how anyone could conceive such a thing as going through them all in order, unless it would be to maybe watch a movie out of order, but not post the review of it. There are too many compelling reasons to watch them out of order. I’ve been dying for Rome Open City and Paisan to be released by Criterion ever since I first learned of their existence over five years ago. Now that they’re here, I couldn’t wait to get through a single other film before watching them, let alone five hundred! Eric Rohmer passed away last month. As a result, I watched his “Six Moral Tales.” Watching Seven Samurai made me want to watch Ran. Watching La commare secca made me want to watch Rashomon. So, I will simply watch them at will and see what comes of it. That may become a detriment, I know, and I may have to, at some point, resort to a plan. For now, I will begin with the ones I have in my possession and worry about the future in the future.

I don’t plan to develop any kind of rating system. It will only be a matter of how much I liked a movie or how much it moved me and in what way.

I do plan to write primarily about Criterion titles I’ve seen on DVD, but there will be exceptions, though, if I see a movie that I just can’t help but say something about. I watched Inglourious Basterds on DVD recently, and would have something to say about it. I had the good fortune of seeing Godard’s 2 or 3 Things I Know About Her and Made in U.S.A. on the big screen last year and would want to share that even though it wasn’t from the DVD. I also recently saw Lars von Trier’s Antichrist at the theater and wouldn’t be able to resist not mentioning it either. I watched Sisters and Carnival of Souls on The Auteurs. I was pleased to have watched the movies, but the experience just didn’t seem to be complete, and I don’t know if I would necessarily make an entry. I have a non-Criterion copy of This is Spinal Tap that I picked up cheap last week. I won’t post about it because it’s not the Criterion version. So, the bulk will be Criterion Collection DVD releases, but there will be guests from time to time, including Eclipse titles.

As of now, I have not seen a single movie on Blu-ray. I don’t have any Blu-ray copies or the technology to play them if I did. When it happens that I have the opportunity to watch a Blu-ray edition, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen that title, I will review it as such. If it is one I’ve seen and already reviewed from DVD, I can see making another entry if only to gush about “how fucking awesome!” the Blu-ray picture quality is. Yet again, I am putting the cart before the horse though. I’ll worry about crossing that Blu-ray bridge when I get to it.

Speaking of watching and reviewing movies more than once, I think I will do just that. If I watch a movie again, no matter on what medium, I will do a new review of it for I’m certain to have gained something new from it.

I don’t plan to put any limit on the number of words I write, minimum or maximum. I will only use the number of words I think a title deserves, or that I’m in the mood to write. If this first entry is any indication, I do tend toward wordiness. That may put some people off, but I’m doing it primarily for me and I figure that if I have an attention span long enough to write it, there may be a handful of others with the attention span to read it.

I don’t plan to recycle of the writings I’ve already filed before starting this venture. This blog will only be for movies I’ve watched after today. So, if I want to make a post of any of those twenty movies I recently watched, I will have to watch it again first – and they’re all worth watching again.

As for a blog title, I went with “The Criterion Quixotic” for a few reasons. I wanted the title to contain the word “Criterion” to make the connection to the Collection. I do like the alliterative sound, but using different letters. There is nothing more appropriate than “Quixotic” because, as I’ve already indicated, this is quite the quixotic adventure. And, because Matthew Dessem has done such a wonderful job with his blog so far, I wanted a similar title as bit of an homage to the standard bearer.

Now, without further ado, I will mosey on to the adventure I have set upon.